The PreInVention of Final Fantasy IV
by Chronic Guardian
Summary: Crossovers abound as various characters find themselves in the FF IV universe and contribute not only to a happy ending, but a more interesting story. Will their help be enough? Or will tragedy and frustration still plague the world? Only through the power of parody will we find out.
1. Got it Memorized?

**The of Final Fantasy IV**

}::By Chronic Guardian::{

**Chapter 1: Got it Memorized?**

I squinted up into the noonday sun for a moment of self-pity before continuing on with the task of wondering what I was going to do about my current situation. I wished I was seeing that same sun just peeking over the horizon as it lazily sank down, eating sea-salt ice-cream and laughing with my two best friends about how my day had been wasted on a wild goose chase. There were no Heartless in this world, surprisingly, and thus it was of no use to the organization. Roxas would appreciate that at least; the kid had a hard enough time in worlds with proper walls. In this one...everything looked the same. Well, I mean, it _had_ all looked the same until I had added a landmark of a monster corpse. Unlike the Heartless, things around here did not readily dissolve into oblivion.

Were I ambitious, like Vexen used to be, I would be looking for strong-hearted characters who might eventually join our ranks. Not only did I lack the motivation, I thought that the search would be as fruitless as my Heartless hunt.

"Halt!"

That word was the most interesting thing to happen that day since Roxas asking me how much munny we would save if we stopped eating ice-cream. Its source was an armor clad fellow followed by a similarly suited companion with a dragon motif on his gear. The second one was carrying a small package in one hand. Great...well, maybe I would be able to write some version of the report where I _didn't_ get seen. The organization usually stressed the importance of covert operations. I stress the importance of flexible thinking. Besides, after what I was going to say, nobody was going to come back and verify.

"Can I help you?" Smooth, my natural state of speech. I knew it could really irk some people, but I didn't particularly care. Not that I have the capability, being without a heart and all.

"What business do you have in Baron?"

Baron? So that was what they called this neck of the woods? True, I'd seen airships fly by, but they still seemed a bit small to be using such a grand name. If I'd said all that out loud, I would probably have another fight on my hands and one more mess to worry about cleaning up after. Instead, I replied: "Just huntin' around for some intel. Think you could help? Namely with how to dispose of...this?" I gestured towards the reeking mass of dead monster behind me.

"...Just leave it. As with all other fiends. Are you well, traveler?"

"Actually, I'm feeling pretty apathetic, just between you and me." A private joke, I use such things to keep my mental activity from flat-lining.

The two men paused. I guessed it was a little too much of a leap for them to comprehend.

"Perhaps we should report him, Cecil," the guy who had remained silent up until this point offered. I could almost have shaken his hand in appreciation; it would have given me a great excuse to skip work early and head to the clock tower for hang-out time.

The first man shook his head, "no...we should deal with this ourselves. Besides, if he took down a fiend that size maybe he could help us."

"'Scuse me?"

"We are on a mission of peak priority for the King. Taking risks like this is what got you demoted." The man in the dragon armor bristled.

Oh, to be irritable again.

"...Perhaps you are right, though the way to the village of Mist is markedly perilous."

The village of the Mist; gee, these people reeaaally knew how to name a place. How many villages _don't_ have mist at sometime or another? I guess Twilight Town sort of falls under that category except for the fact that I've never seen it without its perpetual evening glow.

Mr. no-nonsense sighed, "They may be able to summon monsters, but you are the former captain of the Red Wings of Baron. Together we will overcome them."

_Summon monsters. _My mind latched onto the words like a shadow glob. "Hang on, what kind of monsters are we talking about here?"

"Summoned monsters." The exasperation with which those words were said reminded me so much of Isa.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, but do these people who summon them have any sort of inclination towards darkness?"

The two looked at each other. "That mantle is taken by Baron, for have we long fostered the order of the dark knights," the more polite of the two informed me.

Is that what he was supposed to be? Funny, I would have thought the Heartless to be spawning like crazy in this kingdom were that the case...although it did make sense. I could sense the fiery spirit in the package they were carrying, thanks to my inclination towards the element. If I did have a heart, I'd probably say it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. As it is, I just say I'm a pyro. At any rate, I got the gist that they were delivering a bomb to this village. The thing was, summoning monsters was the closest lead I had to Heartless appearances all day. Tagging along to ensure no one got hurt seemed to fall within my better interests at the time. Oh, how wishful my thinking. It really is too bad that imagination is not tied to the heart, I would have avoided a whole heap of trouble if only I had not assumed that something productive was going to happen.

"Tell you what, why don't you and I make a deal?" I began, setting up my presumed-to-be-master-plan before them. "You take me along as your back up and I don't ask any questions as to what it is you're carrying to this village of mist. Sound fair?"

"No, you are a liability."

"C'mon! Nobody has to know about any of this and you two get a free ride! What's not to like?"

"The 'free ride' part," the guy in the Halloween dragon get-up was further establishing himself as not useful to me. "Nothing is free, what do you gain?"

"Passage to the village of mist, of course."

The first knight in shining black armor cocked his iron-clad head, "Why can't you get there on your own? You seem able enough in combat."

"In combat, yes. But I'd still appreciate being pointed in the right direction." Man was I glad Roxas was not here to see me begging these bozos to take me with them.

"Very well then, let us travel together."

Well...that was unexpected. "Thanks," I told him, scratching my hand on the back of my head. "Guess we should get going then?"

"Indeed, let's."

It was a silent journey from there. Heck, Roxas talked more on his seventh day of existence than those two. Of course, I took the time to leisurely jot down the beginning of my report.

"You remember how to use your dark attack, right Cecil?"

Not only did master Dragon-head's comment come out of nowhere, it seemed down and out ridiculous. Didn't he say earlier that this Cecil guy had been a military captain or something? I figured he would know what he was doing by now. It wasn't like this was their first time out on the streets, was it?

"Yes, but it will drain my strength with excessive use. We must employ it sparingly."

"Just leave it all to me," I assured them. "If it's anything like the first monster I'll have it done before you can blink."

"Perhaps you'll be able to demonstrate," Dragon-man muttered. "Here they come!"

The monsters, overgrown rats and bugs from what I could tell, came swarming around the corner. Swinging my chakram into ready position, I began my boomerang routine, throwing in a kick or two for the ones who got close enough for a taste. Sadly, I only got half way through my rotation before they were all gone.

"How did you do that?" Cecil asked, the awe in his voice glaringly apparent.

"Oh, you know, practice."

"He means attacking consecutively, not waiting for your turn."

A helpful clarification but one that clued me even further into the sad nuances of this world. Waiting your turn in a fight? No. You strike first and strike fast unless you've got a reason to hold back.

"Guess I equipped the right panels." It was a lame, but fail-safe, answer.

"The right what?" Cecil was majorly tripping out over these revelations, "I didn't know equipment could change your abilities!"

…

"I see we were correct to accept your help," the Dragon Knight admitted. I really should have been paying attention when he introduced himself...but seeing as I didn't plan on coming back it would be a waste of valuable memorization.

"...Let's just get this over with." No need for pleasantries, only efficiency. I would be doing ol' Sïax proud at least.

"Yes, I agree," Cecil spoke sensibly. Perhaps that was his one and only ability: sounding like he was actually getting somewhere.

I shook my head; once I got to the clock tower this would all fade into memory. Heck, if we still had Namine around I'd probably ask her to remove most of today from my personal recollection. "Well let's just gather up the loot these things dropped and get going."

"Hold," Cecil's friend spoke up, "We must be careful with how much we pick up. Carry too much and we will have to delete some items from out inventory."

"Relax," I told him. Gosh, the guy was high strung. It's not like I was completely foreign to limited carrying capacity or anything. "My backpack's got plenty of room. Besides, if we have to drop something we can always come back for it, right?"

Cecil and his companion looked at each other. "That's not how it works around here," Cecil informed me, "once you delete an item from your inventory it's gone for good. Fortunately, that's why we have the Key Item status effect to keep special items from being disposed of."

I could just barely believe what I was hearing. What was wrong with this world? A little further in we ran into our next complication.

"Leave this place."

The voice came out of nowhere. In my experience it usually meant someone you didn't want to deal with was about to materialize.

"Who's there?" Cecil shouted, taking his sword out of its sheath.

"Return whence you came."

"That voice - could it be the Eidolon?" Another inadvertently helpful statement from Sir Wyrm Fanatic.

"Men of Baron and traveler of worlds..."

Both of the knights turned to look at me. Unless they were as dense as I had given them credit for, my cover was blown.

"Leave at once and no harm will befall you, I will abide no further trespass."

"Not gonna happen," I said flatly. Whatever an Eidolon was it was getting between me and my objective, an elementary mistake.

"You mean to ignore my warning?"

Cecil set his eyes ahead again, "we must deliver this ring to the village of Mist beyond!"

A ring? Did they really believe that was all it was? No declarations of war? My fire sense tingled all over in its presence. These guys were sneaky. I wouldn't hear the end of this from Xion if I let them get away with it, not to mention Siax if they blew up the only Heartless hub for this world.

"So be it..."

"Hold it," I ordered, snatching the package containing the bomb ring. "We all know this is an explosive mess. Unfortunately I'm going to have to side with the disembodied voice that we can't bring this into my target area. It's much too sensitive."

"An...explosive?" Cecil was dumbfounded.

Seriously? I guess I'm just so used to the presence of combustibles that their identification is second nature to me.

"Traveler of worlds...you speak well."

"Thanks, but I'd like to get to this village of mist in addition to being applauded if its all the same to you."

"Very well. But dispose of the package or I shall bar thine way."

The Eidolon's words stopped me dead in my tracks. How was I supposed to fight fire? I was the guy who _made_ the pretty little explosions, not the one who extinguished them.

"Uhm...little help, Cecil?" I inquired hopefully. He seemed to think we were buddy buddy already, maybe he would take care of this for me.

"Certainly. But how do we deactivate it?"

_That's what I was asking. _

"Could we leave it with our invisible friend or is that out of the question?" I could see the exit from here; If I wasn't so concerned with keeping up appearances I might have just blinked out and shown up outside the cave. In retrospect, I probably should have done that anyway. Instead, I decided to play things responsibly for once.

"That ring will activate in the presence of those from Mist. I cannot take it."

Great. Still, I wasn't done yet. Dealing with problems like Xion's missing keyblade had taught me to keep an extra card or two up my skin-tight sleeves.

"So what if you got close enough for it to activate and then skedaddle until it expires?"

"...That sounds all too convenient."

It was like trying to get Demyx to work. "Look," I said, trying once again to get a new angle on things, "if this thing only blows in the presence of people from mist then we won't have to worry about it if it never is in their presence, right?"

Cecil nodded slowly, "yes."

"So what if we delete it from your inventory?"

"No good," Dragon-fan muttered, "It's a Key Item."

"To you, maybe. To me, it's just another piece of rubbish. If we could just swap interfaces, I could throw it away."

That would have been a helpful idea if only I knew how to swap an interface; hopefully one of them could figure it out. A few moments of uncomfortable silence told me all I needed to know about their proficiency in the area.

"Know what? Maybe if I beat you senseless you'll drop the item, which I will decline to pick up, and then we can all go on with our lives. Deal?"

It took them both a minute to catch wise as to what I meant. "H-hold on!"

I've had some experience taking out a target without actually killing it, enough to have a good amount of confidence in my abilities. Starting off with a flame salvo, I began to wear them down enough for some soft finishing blows.

It was over too quick. Just as expected, they dropped the ring and two "life" items as a bonus. I used the restorative effects of the life items halfheartedly, bringing back to consciousness today's sources of grief. They stabilized quickly enough, but I had the feeling I would be doing the fighting from now on.

Why couldn't I think of these things beforehand?

"You...!" Master lanceslinger came to first.

"You're welcome," I answered, "we're out of the cave and you don't have to wipe a town from the face of whatever sad world this is."

"I can't believe we were being used like that!"

_Believe it_. _Just like how I'm using you to get to a Heartless mother lode. _"So what are you going to do now then?"

"Hunh?" Cecil stirred, struggling to sit up.

"I asked what you're planning on doing now, seeing as your kingdom is pretty dead set on slaughter."

Cecil looked at me with confused eyes, "I must honor the-"

"There's not a whole lot of honor to be had in your current line of work." I guess I should know that one pretty well. Like many things, I'd sort of lost the will to pursue honor once I became a Nobody. But just because I wasn't trying to achieve it didn't mean I was unaware of its existence...and its absence in a number of my actions.

"He speaks a different truth than what you or I know, Cecil."

As if I didn't have enough to sort out already. "You can't have different truths," I said wearily, "by its definition, truth is exclusive. Got it memorized?"

"Then we've been living a lie..." Cecil looked heart broken. Maybe he was a Dark Knight in that he bore an excessively gloomy demeanor rather than the power of darkness...

"At any rate, our failure to deliver the ring to Mist will be interpreted as treason to the crown. We'll have to live as fugitives from now on."

I was witnessing a dynamic between these two "friends" that reminded me of Isa. No...Isa had been nicer than this. He still had brought me down every now and then though.

"We've got to get Rosa and Cid out of Baron then." Cecil seemed to be getting over it okay now. I guess he had gotten used to having such a person to guard his back. Poor guy.

Why did I revive them in the first place? For a guy without a heart I guess I'm pretty impulsive.

"Well...it's been fun; but I've got to be on my way," I gave a mock salute to the duo, "don't get into too much trouble now, got it..." I trailed off, "on second thought, just forget it."

I walked off despite their protests. At this point, I just wanted today to be over.

As I approached the village one of the locals took interest.

"Greetings, stranger."

"Hey, let me cut to the chase. I've heard that people from this village summon monsters."

The villager nodded, "Yes, Summoned Monsters."

"Like the Heartless?"

"...No, just Summoned Monsters."

"..."

I lifted a hand to open a dark portal to Twilight Town.

The guy gave a startled cry but it disappeared behind me like the rest of my day on that world. The one thing I definitely had memorized was how I would NEVER go back.

A/N: ALERT: IF YOU ENJOY FINAL FANTASY IV IT IS BEST YOU STOP READING THIS FANFICTION. That said, the main idea from here on out is to go through Final Fantasy IV (which mostly bored me to tears) and bring in all the outside help we can get to make it an interesting story. Again, if you disagree with this premise you probably should NOT be reading this anti-fan fic. This Chapter's Character was Axel, originally from Kingdom Hearts, created by Tetsuya Nomura.


	2. All in a Day's Work for the Avatar

**The of Final Fantasy IV**

}::By Chronic Guardian::{

**Chapter 2: All in a Day's Work for the Avatar**

Sand, nothing but sand as far as the eye could see. It isn't solid like earth, it's inconsistent, shifting, evading control; but it isn't free like wind either. It's like a terrible midpoint between the two. Almost as frustrating as everything else was at the moment.

I still couldn't believe they took Appa. I could barely believe Toph let them get away with it. Now that I had a little distance between myself and the situation I could see that earth bending doesn't translate so well over to sand but I was still mad, mad at whoever had stolen Appa and mad at myself for not being there to stop them.

"What are you doing?"

I spun around with my staff in hand, ready to lay down fury on whatever dared to present itself.

There was a man in black armor. Similar, but enough unlike the Fire Nation to hold back my anger long enough for my natural curiosity to take over. He had to be crazy to be walking around in the desert like that, not even taking off his helmet to release some of the heat that must have been building up inside his iron shell. With him was a woman and a child, both of them somewhere from within the Earth Kingdom if I had to guess by the tone of their clothes.

"Maybe he's suffering from heat exhaustion," the little girl suggested. I realized then that they were waiting for my response.

"I'm looking for my Bison," I told them. There wasn't much point in hiding the truth and I thought they might have seen whoever had taken Appa.

"You've got to get to the Oasis Town of Kaipo,"the woman said, offering a hand as she approached me. "Come on, we'll go together."

"I need to find my Bison," I repeated. I wasn't about to give up on Appa, my heart and mind refused to accept it.

"We've got to keep moving if we hope to get to Damcyan within the week," the guy in dark armor spoke up. "We won't stand a chance against Baron without allies."

"Is Baron with the Fire Nation?" I asked, trying to make sense of all these places I'd never heard of before.

The knight shook his head, "No, the kingdom of Fire is Damcyan. It is they who keep the fire crystal."

"The fire crystal?" I couldn't help but dig a little deeper. "Does it help them firebend?"

"It's a kingdom of bards, not mages," the little girl insisted. "Baron tried to burn down our village with a bomb ring but that's not quite the same."

"So Baron _is_ part of the Fire Nation," I concluded. It seemed obvious enough: they were using traps, fire, and oppression. It was what the Fire Nation did.

"...Let's get you out of the sun."

The Knight grabbed me by the shoulder and started walking towards the now visible town that I had had my back turned to and was almost certain had not been there a minute ago. Starting to feel the effects of the sun, I didn't struggle too much. My will was melting, Sokka would probably add that my brain was soon to follow, if it hadn't already.

It wasn't too bad of a town, but my mind was trying to stay on task for ways to find Appa and the desert heat was not helping much. At one point I stumbled into a house and met a strange talking Pig-Rabbit.

"I'm Namingway, and I have the power to change your name!" it declared as I walked closer to investigate. "Seems you could use a new name, am I right? You've probably forgotten your old one after all that time spent roasting out in the great frying pan of the world."

"No thanks, Aang is just fine for me."

"You sure? Something like Awng might be just the change of pace you've been looking for."

I shrugged, "I don't know, I kind of want to stay true to who I am. You see, I'm the Avatar, and as an Avatar, my individual personality is just one part of a huge picture. Each Avatar contributes something to the next, just as I contribute to my team just the way I am."

"...I suppose that makes sense. Specialization is all the rage these days, after all."

"Well, I guess that's what I was trying to say. But I'm more of an all around solution."

Namingway gasped, "No specialization? You aren't confined to either physical or magical attacks? Surely, there must be a stat penalty for such a battle profile."

"I'm not as good as Toph when it comes to earthbending, if that's what you mean. Well...in my non-Avatar state, anyway."

"You should change her name to Touph. Elongating the "O" makes it so much cooler."

"...I don't think so."

"Well fine, have it your way then. But if you ever need any changing of names, you know I'm always here."

"Thanks, anyway."

I left the house and began wandering the streets, trying to remember what I had been looking for earlier.

"Did you hear? The Great Sage's daughter went and eloped with some spoony bard from Damcyan."

I turned my head slightly to the left, trying to figure out what was going on. There were a few people here and there, but the person who had said this was standing alone looking my way.

"Are you... talking to me?"

"Of course," the man said, surprised that it was anything out of the ordinary to shout the latest town gossip to anyone who happened to be passing by. "The whole town's talking about it, so I didn't want you to be out of the loop."

"Is there anything else you can tell me? Like who the Great Sage is?"

The man shook his head, "Nope, you'll have to ask around yourself. Keeping all of the information in one area would be too easy and remove all reason for talking to more than one of us."

"Don't you have lives outside of the latest town gossip though?"

"Nope, it's all about the current events."

I was starting to get the feeling that the confusion over elements being used symbolically and literally wasn't the only thing funny about this town. Maybe there was a reason I was here though... it is the duty of the Avatar to restore balance to the world, so maybe this place was a little off-track.

"Hey, Baldie," a little girl ran up to me. "Where have you been? The rest of us are at the Inn."

I blanked, was everyone in this town so upfront? "The rest of who?"

"Cecil and my mom," the girl explained, "You know, the people who you came into town with?"

It was coming back now, who this girl was, why I was here.

"Sorry, I have to keep looking for my bison," I told her, bowing slightly. "I'll see you around, alrig-?"

"Not until you've rested up and restored your health. Quite frankly, you're mind could use it to."

"..." I really didn't want to let this get between me and my goal but she seemed to be making sense. "Can't we just look around town a little more?" I asked, not ready to give up so easily. I would have flown off then and there if I hadn't been so sun-sick.

"Don't be so stubborn!" the girl ordered. "You could get desert fever if you're not careful. They say that a girl wandered here just before us who wasn't careful enough with crossing the sands and now she's got it."

"A fever?" This was sounding vaguely familiar. "Has she tried sucking on frogs?"

The girl gave me a look that was a mixture of disgust and suspicion. "It might take a lot more than an antidote to get you right back to normal. Come on, we'll take you back to rest at the inn, it'll cure whatever ails you."

"Sleeping at this inn will cure you of anything, huh?" I mulled this over, making the connections. "So if this girl with desert fever slept at the inn, it would cure her of desert fever?"

"Desert fever is not one of those things that you can cure by sleeping it off. It doesn't fall under the normal canon of status effects."

"It couldn't hurt to try, right?"

Judging by her silence, apparently it could.

"They say if you have a sand ruby like from Damcyan you can cure it though," the girl began again. "I think Cecil is going to try to get one once we've finished talking about an alliance."

An alliance...it did seem like a pretty good idea. Bringing together a group of people to stand against evil. Of course, I usually worked on a much smaller basis; person to person rather than an army. In someways it seemed more effective. Other times it left you with no option other than retreat.

"Come on, let's go get some rest."

This time I didn't even try. Getting away would be a whole lot easier once they were all asleep anyway. As the way of the Airbender went, avoiding a conflict was usually far more useful than taking things head on.

And so I waited.

I got up around midnight, once everyone seemed settled in. Taking my prowess to practice, I glided across the floor to the way out... and immediately stopped in mid-glide as the sound of clanking armor approached. In my current line of adventures, danger usually followed that sound. So much for avoiding conflict...

"Did you see anyone come into town today?"

The voice was muffled, they were still outside.

"Yeah! A group of strangers led by a Dark Knight. Almost as popular in news as Sage Tellah's daughter running off with a spoony bard."

It was the same guy from earlier. Apparently, gossip has no curfew.

"I didn't ask about any spoony bard! Where are they now?"

"Inside this inn. Pretty convenient huh?"

"Thank you for the assistance... now get out of here."

The door creaked open, allowing in a group of four armor clad swordsmen; all of them were between me and my continued search for Appa. At the time, the choice seemed pretty easy: action now, questions never.

They barely had time to shout as the airbending slice knocked the wind out of their lungs and their bodies out the door. Running out of the inn, I threw my glider out for a good head start and was off on my way. Although the soldiers lay wheezing, I almost couldn't care less at the moment; even if this place needed rebalance, I was going to find Appa.

A/N I know it took forever, and it's likely to take just as long given my current school and workload. Well... maybe not. Our next chapter features Solid Snake of the Metal Gear Solid series and he'll be decidedly easier to write than Aang. Although it was possibly easier to write Aang while he is in an altered mental state, I still am unsure of my efforts. At least he's already in a universe filled with plot holes in this setting anyway, right? This chapter's character was Avatar Aang, originally from Avatar: The Last Airbender, created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko


	3. Philanthropy

**The of Final Fantasy IV**

}::By Chronic Guardian::{

**Chapter 3: Philanthropy**

Déjà vú is a recurring theme in my rapidly shortening life. Those I fought, where I fought, what I used, what was used against me. All of it melds together until everything is connected. This desert castle wasn't quite like the Middle East, but it was close enough. The difference was that I had consciously chosen to go to the Middle East to track down Ocelot. Pressing two fingers behind my left ear to activate my codec, I began my search for overdue answers.

"Otacon, where am I?"

"Hmm? Oh good, you're awake."

I sighed, my old friend had a way of avoiding the helpful answers sometimes. Particularly when it could endanger his standing with me. "Like heck I am."

"That's an odd word choice for you, are you reforming your language as well as your smoking habits?"

It took me a moment to understand what had just occurred. "Dargnomit Otacon! What's going on?"

"It would appear that the nanomachines in your body are receiving signals broadcast over the current area that prevent the use of objectionable language due to censorship laws. I hear they were pretty strong back in the day, must be some residual code."

One more thing I had Drebin to thank for. Given my lifespan, I wasn't sure if it would be worth the trouble to have them removed. Instead, I moved on to the most immediately pressing subjects.

"So then where the heck am I?

"You're in a region called Damcyan, I intercepted some communications recently that pointed to trouble and thought maybe you could help."

"After barely stopping Liquid Ocelot, what about me says I want to fight another war, Otacon?"

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere, Snake. Besides, I couldn't find anybody else."

I grunted, _unlikely_. "Not even Raiden?"

"Raiden's battle profile doesn't match the mission."

"And what the helios might that be?"

"Shooting down unidentified mobile airborne armaments due to arrive in the area in about fifteen minutes. I packed you the rail gun you got from Crying Wolf to help you out."

So I had a rail gun... At least it was the first slightly good news I'd heard that day.

"What's the local sentiment towards me?" Although I didn't mind sneaking around, it would be much easier to take down the targets without grounded opposition to worry about.

"They don't know you're there yet. But from what I can tell, they aren't the most militaristic group. You shouldn't encounter too much trouble."

"Great. I'm going to hold you to that."

Closing down the codec, I checked the supplies I had woken up with. As Otacon had promised, there was a rail gun and my Mk. II pistol along with some additional ammunition and my old Middle Eastern militia disguise. The stealth camo would have been nice but I had to take what I could get.

Taking up the rail gun I scanned the sky: cloudless. My targets would have no cover to hide in. They were airborne, which would afford them a certain amount of maneuverability, but my years of training more than compensated for that. My only thought was the number of crew members per vehicle and survival odds. Given that I was using a rail gun, the latter figure would be pretty low.

This was slightly troubling. Maybe it was a matter of pride rather than compassion, but I still had done my best to accomplish every mission without taking more human life than necessary. But Otacon hadn't dropped me on an enemy ship to sabotage it, he had dropped me at a vantage point to gun them down. And up to this point I had thought him the kinder of the two of us...

Shaking my head, I looked up towards the horizon where flecks were starting to form. Instinctively, I rested my fingers on the trigger of the rail gun, preparing to charge up a shot for the first kill.

"Goodness, everyone! There's a man with a strange weapon!"

I froze in utter shock. My soldier's sense that had faithfully served me through countless missions had just failed. I had been detected and an alert phase had been enacted.

Bringing out my Mk. II pistol with non-lethal ammunition, I spun and fired twice; once in the general direction of the voice and once again when I lined up a clean shot.

The man went down easy. It then clicked why he had not registered as a threat: he was unarmed.

Muttering to myself, I came to his side and plucked the anesthetic darts out of him before slapping him awake.

"What's going on here?" I demanded, pulling him by his collar into a sitting position.

"No! I beg you! We are but a kingdom of Bards! We could barely pose a threat to the monster populace, much less your world conquest! Please spare me!"

I dropped the man, narrowing my eyes as I quickly sifted through his words. Essentially, somebody was out to rule the world and he wanted to shove over the wimpy guys first. I smiled grimly to myself, they were about to run into a snag. "Don't worry, I'll show those $&*^#%s."

"Dollar-ampersand-asterisk-caret-number-percents? My what colorful language! You must really hate those guys..."

"^*#( these nanomachines," I muttered under my breath, holstering my pistol and walking back to my abandoned rail gun. "Look, I'm here to get rid of those goons. Just don't give me any trouble, alright?"

"Okay!" The man got up and went away, leaving me to scope out the five rapidly approaching mobile air armaments.

Charging up a shot, I braced my weapon against the ramparts and lined up the sights with the foremost vehicle. Taking in a deep breath, I released.

The thing exploded, easily pierced through by the supercharged ammunition. The other ships rocked but stayed their course, apparently unfazed. I grunted to myself, that was about to change.

My second shot tore through one of the two foremost ships and nicked the backside of the next one in line, sending it into a tailspin. The third shot took out both the remaining leader and his faithful charge. Lining up my sights, I took down the last ship just as it was regaining control.

I activated my codec, "Mission accomplished, Otacon. Now get me out of here."

"Understood, Snake; I'll be there before too long. I'm a bit tied up in some of this menu programming so it might take me a little while. Try to enjoy yourself in the mean time."

I let a disgusted groan slip out once the codec was off. What was enjoyable about this area?

"I say! How did you eliminate those airships so quickly?"

Grabbing both my Mk II. Pistol and my stun knife, I turned on the newest entry into my awareness. The man who I pointed the gun at promptly squeaked and hid behind a pillar.

"Please! Don't shoot! I only wanted to thank you for what you've done!"

Not like there was much thanks that he could offer that would actually be useful to me. Unless..."Then stop acting like a Gerard Dune pansy and give me some answers," I told him, lowering my sights. "Who's attacking you and why?"

"Baron was attacking until you destroyed their premier airship fleet. It will take them a good while to recover from such a devastating loss, I think."

"In the meantime, you ought to beef up your defenses here. Have you got any anti-vehicular weapons emplacements?"

"No sir."

"Anti material rifles?"

"No sir."

"Ballistic air guard?"

"No sir."

"... Light infantry assault gear?"

"No sir."

"Then what the Hinterlands do you got protecting this Dagnum place?"

"We have harps."

I face palmed; no wonder they were being attacked. "In that case, I would suggest shifting production from harps to heavy weapons. If you ever get attacked again, you'll wish you had them."

"...Can heavy weapons make beautiful music?"

"Look, bub," I growled, grabbing the bard by the collar. "Heavy weapons are gonna give you the beautiful music of not being totally annihilated, got it?"

"I see now!" the man declared, nervously smiling in agreement.

"Good." I let go and backed off, moving towards my equipment so I could pack it up and be ready for extraction.

"I'm Edward, by the way. Edward Chris von Muir."

"Charmed. They call me..." I paused, wondering which would be worse to give away: my alias or my codename. I then realized I only used my alias around people I like. "Solid Snake."

"Thank you again, Solid Snake. Someday, I hope my kingdom will have more men like you."

"I hope so too." _Otherwise you're dead in the water_. Picking up my gear, I looked to the sky as Otacon arrived with the chopper. "Your war isn't over yet."

"Will it ever be?"

I grunted, "Mine sure as Hector is."

"But what if more strange people appear?"

"Then I guess you'll just have to man up. Saving your skin was a one time offer; from here on out, it's all you kid."

* * *

><p>AN: I feel bad for giving up on quality but unfortunately I reserve that for stories I am serious about. This chapter's character was Solid Snake (and his pal Otacon) from the Metal Gear (and Metal Gear Solid) series created by Hideo Kojima.


	4. What Links us Together

**The of Final Fantasy IV**

}::By Chronic Guardian::{

**Chapter 4: Interlude I + What Links Us Together**

"Did you see that?" Cecil asked his friends, hoping for a confirmation that the entire five ships of the Red Wings air fleet had just been obliterated. It did seem somewhat difficult to swallow given that they were supposed to be the world's premier military power.

"It would seem that the bards of Damcyan have improved considerably in the arts of war," Cindle, the Summoner of the Mist Dragon observed. "They will make powerful allies for our plight."

"I don't care how powerful they are, I'm still gonna tell that spoony bard off for stealin' my Anna away from me!" Tellah, a sage that had joined them on their way from Kaipo, declared. "I'm her father and that's that! None of this romancing nonsense."

"At least the attack wasn't successful," Rydia, Cindle's daughter, mused. The girl seemed rather matter of fact in her analysis. "That's one more crystal the enemy doesn't control."

"The enemy..." Cecil echoed sadly. There was little denying it now: Baron was out to steal the crystals and they had no qualms about resorting to slaughter to achieve this goal. In the back of his mind he wondered if Kain was having any success. After they had not destroyed the Village of Mist, they had drawn out a plan for testing their situation; Kain would return to Baron, reporting Cecil missing in action, and protect Rosa while Cecil went to warn the nations of the possible threat. Of course, discovering Rosa in Kaipo was a bit of a tip off that something had gone awry, but Cecil was resolved in his mission and would not let his friend down.

"Welllll?" Tellah demanded, glaring through his spectacles at the rest of the group in annoyance. "We goin' in or what?"

"I don't know, perhaps we ought to pitch a tent. We went through some rather trying ordeals in those caves." Cindle's mock serious tone was enough to drive the sage over the edge.

"If you chowderheads ain't gonna git then I'm goin' in on my own!"

After watching Tellah valiantly march off at an astounding two pixels per second, the party leisurely arose and followed after him. It took perhaps a quarter minute before they were again in step.

"Say Tellah..." Cecil began cautiously. They were ribbing the poor man an awful lot lately so the following question would require all the tact he could muster. "Why is it that when we level up our physical strength increases but when you level up it goes down?"

"Because I'm old! Alright? Why don't you go grind till level ninety-nine and tell me how you feel then, hmm?"

"But... shouldn't you be level fifty or something then?" Rydia pushed on, apparently oblivious to the older man's flagging ego. "I mean... you did do all that training to become a sage and all, right?"

"Why do ya ask all this? Up till now virtually no one was curious as to how any of this worked! I mean, my next door neighbor probably couldn't care less about me setting off to take my daughter back, certainly not enough to lend a hand, and suddenly all you yahoos show up in a storm of questions expecting the world to make sense!"

"Because strange things have been happening," Cindle answered him. "Because people are showing up and asking us questions we have never thought of before that are altering the course that might have destroyed our lives. That is why we ask."

"Melodramatic, much?" Tellah grumbled, keeping his gaze on the towering palace of Damcyan. "Why ask when the answers aren't there? I'm trying to remember stuff all the time but it just don't come."

"I hope that reality proves otherwise," Cecil said resolutely. "We must hurry to obtain the sand ruby before Rosa's condition turns for the worse."

"Y'know, boy," the sage's tone had gone a shade softer, "you may be a dense ol' lump, but you've got good intentions. I sure hope that works out for the best."

"It should," Cecil replied. "I've only one path to be forced along, I can only pray that it is the right one."

Although, after his previous encounters with the black-coated man and the bald boy he had to wonder if destiny was truly so passive. It was a frightening thought, that his choices actually meant something, that he could actually change the course of his story; but there was a slight bit of comfort to be found in the notion. If he could _choose _wrong, it implied that another option that was right existed. Or at least, that was how it seemed in his mind.

Newly aware as he was, all this talk of free will was still very befuddling.

**}::{**

I glared intently at the shrinking remains of the golden Skulltulla before triumphantly retrieving the token it had dropped. The hunt for the elusive creature had taken me far from my original path but I felt it was an acceptable loss given all the great loot I got from the family in Kakariko village when I turned in the tokens.

_Now... for getting back..._ I realized that I really had no idea where in the cave I had gotten myself.

"Hello?"

I froze. The only semi-sentient life I ever encountered while in dungeons were boss monsters. Well... with one or two exceptions. But even then, they stayed put. Anything moving towards me that talked while inside a dungeon usually was hostile and powerful.

Reaching for my bow I quickly reconsidered and drew my long hookshot instead. I needed to conserve ammunition, particularly since this cave seemed low on pots to crack open for additional supplies. Aiming the device with one hand, I reached into my pouch of deku nuts with the other. Although deku nuts are usually next to worthless, I figured they were worth a shot. After all, anything in my inventory was usually there to solve some puzzle or another.

A group of people rounding the corner came into view.

"Hey, its just another person!" one of them, a girl with green hair, exclaimed.

One of her companions, a knight in black armor, shook his head, "Careful, he could be a monster."

"What? No, he's clearly a person."

"That doesn't mean _anything_."

They did not have long ears like proper Hylians, but they at least seemed reluctant to attack. Grunting in reply, I holstered the hookshot and walked closer to facilitate conversation.

"He doesn't seem hostile to me," the third member, a woman of great resemblance to the girl, spoke up in what appeared to be my defense.

Giving her an appreciative nod, I then fixed the knight with the intent look that I gave to anyone when I needed them to know the current situation.

"Is something wrong, sir?"

For the first time, silently staring was not getting the point across. I tried again, throwing in some hand gestures and nods. The knight still gazed blankly back at me.

"I guess he can't talk," the girl concluded, coming to my side for a closer look. She was around the size of Princess Ruto when I had first encountered her, and nearly as presumptuous. "Think he can help us?"

"I suppose we've one more slot in our party, if our guide would just come out of hiding."

One more slot? What did that have to do with it? If it was a matter of the effective maneuverability of a group then they were already dealing in false logistics; my effective group size topped off at two members maximum, usually with me carrying the other member.

"Speaking of the guide, any idea which way we're supposed to be going?" The woman looked over her shoulder, as if expecting the mentioned guide to make himself visible upon command. "We can't just go stumbling around into every corner of this cave. We've got to focus on our goal if we're going to reach that sand ruby, having a party made up of limited use mages and all. Especially if we run into another group of flan."

Flan... it was probably some monster. Having never spoken of monsters myself I didn't really have much use for naming them; other than the Golden Skulltullas, of course. There was likely some official source that made it all clear but that was, like speaking, by no means necessary for my adventures.

"We'll make it through," the knight assured his companions. "I may be the only one able to deal substantial damage on a regular basis but now that we've another sword arm we should be just fine."

"Look, just because physical combat is useful does not make it necessary _or_ the dominant component in our party." The woman seemed rather riled by the man's statement. I had to side with him though, magic was only good for escaping dungeons and lighting numerous torches at once.

Tilting my head in a "let's go" sort of way, I moved out of the cave's corner and examined the two paths ahead of me. If only I had picked up a dungeon map earlier it would've been so much easier...

"Hold on, where are you going?" The girl grabbed my arm.

_Off to do something heroic or fun, that's where I'm going_. I was beginning to doubt that these people could read my thoughts, another sign I wasn't in Hyrule anymore.

"Perhaps things would be easier if you'd just talk to us a little more," the knight suggested, coming to the girl's side as he tried to reason with me.

I snorted. Reason is what one uses to solve puzzles, not conversations.

"Maybe you'd best just follow us," the knight continued on. "If we all stick together, we should make it in and out just fine. Right, Edward?"

"Edward's still hiding off screen like a chicken," the green haired girl reminded him. "If you ask me, we should have just let him stay and sort things out with Tellah."

The woman of the group shook her head. "But Rydia, only Royals of Damcyan are allowed in the cave. Without Edward, we couldn't enter."

"Not like they'd be able to stop us..." Rydia answered flatly.

"Rydia!"

"...you're right, that's mean. But we need the sand ruby for Rosa! How could they stop us with a reason like that?"

"It matters not," the knight said, following his own advice and moving on down the path. I liked that attitude, it wasn't very often that I could count on someone else to be competent. If I let Princess Zelda choose like that, she'd probably just get herself captured.

"Why? Because rules are rules and that's that?" Rydia asked, coming up beside him. "If that were true, my village would be destroyed right now. The rules are bending."

I grunted. Obviously they weren't used to ability based progressive exploration, the rules for where you could and couldn't go were changing all the time. How did they expect to get anything done if their world didn't expand?

Still, they were decent walkers. I had to admit, walking was the basis for all quest taking, particularly when it included crossing the Hylian plains. It could really test one's patience though; I hadn't wasted any time procuring a horse the moment I was old enough to ride.

They were quiet enough for the rest of the trek down into the depths of the cavern. It was nice though; even if this place didn't have people who could read your mind, it had a pleasantly surprising lack of hazards in its dungeons (although the monsters _did_ show up out of nowhere).

We next stopped at the rim of a sinking dip that took up the majority of the present chamber. I narrowed my eyes: it was the perfect set up for a boss monster. With much of the room sloping in towards a sandy pit, however, my mobility would be limited; double that when taking all my traveling companions into account.

"Ah! We've made it!" a blond man with a small harp emerged behind us and walked purposefully towards the center of the chamber. Although the harp did remind me of Sheik, he didn't look nearly as capable. I could only assume he was the aforementioned Edward. "I'll retrieve the sand ruby from the Antlion's nest and then we can be on our way!"

I cried out in alarm and reached out to stop the man before he ran headlong into the arena.

"What was that?" he asked over his shoulder as he neared the center.

Facepalming as a jointed leg emerged from the sandy floor and smacked the man over the head, I began forming a plan of attack. Like most boss monsters, I expected it to cower behind some invincible status before leaving itself vulnerable after an attack. This made it all the more surprising when the creature scuttled out of its burrow in front of the now dazed Edward.

That would work; after all, I wasn't above all out assault mode. Starting things off with a leaping down strike, I landed a solid blow on the monster's head.

The sharp retort of an insectoid leg in my gut confirmed that this wasn't going to be as easy as I had hoped.

"Hang on!" the green haired girl called out from behind me. "We'll handle this! Fire!"

Flames spluttered into the boss monster's face, soliciting an indignant hiss and another reactionary swing that clipped me across my right arm and left me sprawled on the sandy floor.

"Oops..."

Rydia's mother groaned. "Rydia, you need to wait until _after_ he gets out of range. The monster's reflexes don't change, only the proximity of the attack relative to your allies."

I looked up in time to see a very confused expression on Rydia's face before Cecil affirmed her understanding for her and proceeded to drag me and Edward out of range.

"Right then, stand back!"

With a flourish, the woman waved her hands, muttered a few words, and flicked her wrist towards the Antlion.

It took me about fifteen seconds before I figured out something was supposed to have happened.

"...Mom?"

Stepping back from the still angrily chittering creature, the woman promptly seethed and thrust her foot against a rock.

"What's wrong?"

"...I ran out of MP."

The significance of the statement was almost completely lost on me. Of course, most statements were. My mind had sort of gone numb to them after hearing Navi's dumbed down instructions for over a week… or a month. Ironically, my grasp on time seemed to slip once I got my hands on the Ocarina. Unless things were spelled out clear and simple, they weren't worth understanding.

What I did understand was that this monster attacked at close range and our other options were quickly running out. So, I went with the obvious answer: bowmanship.

Drawing my handy short bow and a few arrows, I fired on the monster from my currently out of reach position.

The creature flailed and gnashed its mandibles, but otherwise remained stationary.

A number of shots later, it finally turned tail and burrowed back into the sand, leaving behind a smooth, milky red orb. Considering that the only thing boss monsters were supposed to drop were heart containers, I was rather bewildered at the non-crystalline object now lying on the sandy floor of the cavern.

"The sand ruby!" Cecil exclaimed, picking up the item and shoving it into his pocket. "Let's get back to Kaipo and cure Rosa!"

"Who's Rosa?" Edward asked, momentarily reviving his relevance by asking a question I was interested in.

Rydia smiled slyly, "She's Cecil's—"

"Significant other," her mother finished. "She's got desert fever. But thanks to this traveler… what did you say your name was?"

I stared back and lowered my eyebrows as I concentrated on the question. These people didn't understand mindspeak, so I would actually have to use my vocal chords this time.

"…Hrrruaaaht!" I uttered uncertainly. It was one of the few sounds I had mastered other than "Hut", "huh", "hah", and "aahh".

"Oookay then… we'll just call you Tingle," Rydia said slowly, seeming to pull the name out of mid-air.

I grunted in dismay. What kind of a name was Tingle?

It was at that moment that I remembered the use of an otherwise fairly useless item in my inventory: The magic of Farore's Wind; a not-so-fail-safe escape from any dungeon. I felt idiotic for not remembering it earlier, but getting out of there was far more beneficial than conserving my pride as a dungeon navigating adventurer.

"So Tingle, do you want to come help—?"

Rydia's statement was cut off by my casting animation as I summoned up the power to carry me beyond the hopeless depths of my wanderings and back to my main quest. All things considered, it's a power I should use more often.

Anyway, the blinding light of extreme travel blocked out whatever else happened that day. I returned once to see if I could complete the sidequest but by then the whole cave was gone. Whatever had brought us together, I was unable to discover it, even to this day. But that's alright, the links of my life are disjointed anyway.

A/N: Much better this time around! We even got some FF IV character development in. This Chapter's character was the main character from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, a man/boy often known by his default name of Link but in reality is nameable by the player. He doesn't talk much, but he sure likes his adventuring.


End file.
